


february 14th

by bardolatrie



Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: (well i don't care about hannibal thats up to the reader), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Established Relationship, Everyone Is Alive, F/F, Fluff, M/M, Swearing, Valentine's Day, escapism.docx, god i hope i didn't forget anything
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-17 06:15:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29467083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bardolatrie/pseuds/bardolatrie
Summary: this was supposed to be short and somehow we're here. anyway valentine's day struggles, probably ooc, domestic fluff et cetera
Relationships: Alana Bloom/Margot Verger, Dr. Frederick Chilton/Will Graham
Comments: 1
Kudos: 8





	february 14th

Will Graham dreaded this day. 14th of February. Valentine's day.  
For most of his life he didn't pay any attention to it. It's not like he had to, anyway. He didn't have many partners in his life, except maybe for a few flings in college, but that was pretty much it. Never anything serious. But now things were different when he was with Frederick. God, he still had a hard time believing that it was true. Had someone told him two years ago that he would be willingly living under one roof with Dr. Frederick Chilton and enjoying it he would've laughed.  
But it was true. He was living with him for a little less than a year now and he actually liked it. He actually liked Frederick. A lot.  
And that meant he had to buy him a Valentine's day gift. And probably surprise him with something romantic. Both of those things terrified Will. He had no idea what to buy for someone who has seemingly everything he needs. And being romantic never was his strong suite. Of course, Frederick had to be terribly romantic at his core. Will wasn't sure if it surprised him or not. God, what if he planned something himself? What, are they going to have to pick one? Thinking about it gave him anxiety induced stomachaches.  
So he decided to ask the audience - any people he could call his somewhat friends.

“Beverly! Hey. It’s Will.”  
“I know, silly, I have your number saved.”  
“Can we meet up and talk later?”  
“Uh, yeah, sure. What's the matter?”  
“I'll tell you there. Bring Price and Zeller too.”  
“Jeez, it’s serious, huh?” She chuckled. “Is it about Valentine’s day?”  
“Uh, yes. Anyway. Thank you.” Beverly could hear him blush.  
“Sure thing, lover boy. Is tomorrow after work ok?”  
“Yes, thank you.”  
“Take care, Don Juan!” She laughed and hung up.

The next afternoon four of them went to the Cheesecake Factory down the road. Brian and Jimmy wouldn’t stop asking questions why they had this secret meeting all of a sudden until Jimmy finally remembered. “Is it because of Valentine’s day?” he asked probably way too loudly with a slight teasing glimmer in his eyes. Will shushed him, feeling his face getting hot. “What? I don’t think your boyfriend is spying on us,” Jimmy laughed defensively. His boyfriend. That still didn’t sound right. Boyfriend. Like they’re some teenagers. He did feel like a teenager though.

When they reached their destination they sat in the farthest corner, with Will insisting them to do so. He didn’t know why, he was sure that Frederick wasn’t spying on him but he still felt that embarrassment that at his age he struggled with Valentine’s day gifts for his partner.

“So, what’s the deal?” Brian said after taking a long sip of his chocolate milkshake.  
“Well, Valentine’s day is in four days and I have no idea what to do.”  
“You have five whole days!” said Beverly.  
“Just five days!” said Jimmy at the same time. Both of them looked at each other and grimaced.  
“This is horrible. I have no idea what he wants. I feel like he has everything he could possibly need and more,” Will buried his face in his hands.  
“What does he like?” asked Brian.  
“Jesus, a lot of things? Music, movies, books, uh, art? He is surprisingly knowledgeable about like, culture and things like that. Really likes poetry, which was unexpected. Whitman, beatniks, Genet, loves Lorca, et cetera. But he already has all of their stuff, in different languages too. I can’t really get him a movie, BluRays are a lame gift. Same with music, he has all of the records he could possibly need and a Spotify Premium.”  
“You could take him somewhere. A museum or a theater, stuff like that,” Brian had a terrible habit of talking with his mouth full.  
“And that’s the second thing I wanted to ask you. I want to surprise him with something, uh, romantic,” Will cringed at how much he sounded like a seventeen year old. “He loves all of those poetic gestures, like looking at sunsets, flowers, just really cheesy romantic things, but I am terrible at those. And how do I know that he isn't planning something himself?”  
“You don't, that's the trick.”  
“Or you could spy on him,” suggested Jimmy. Will wasn’t entirely sure if he was joking.  
“I am not going to spy on him,” Will shook his head. “I can try to ask others, though,” he added after a second.  
“Who?” asked Brian, still baffled as to how Dr. Fuckface could’ve not only got a partner but also, apparently, some friends.  
“Margot. They’re pretty close.”  
Everyone had different reactions but all of them were of some level of surprise: raised eyebrows, mouths open in shock, choking on cheesecake.  
“Verger-Bloom? That Margot?” asked Beverly, being the only one somewhat able to speak.  
“Yeah, I don’t know any other Margots. They met at a dinner party and, like, bonded over being gay or something.”  
“That is weird and I will be thinking about it for ten days, but hey, good for you! To have someone to ask, I mean,” said Jimmy pulling out of his trance he had fallen into upon hearing the news.  
“Yeah, I guess,” Will tilted his head to the side.  
“I mean, I’m sure he will like whatever you do. Like, I feel like it’s his first proper Valentine’s day in years,” said Brian nonchalantly and obviously trying to help, but his words only made Will worry more. It was Frederick’s first proper Valentine’s day in years. He said it himself. Does it mean it has to be exceptionally good in order to make up for all the gifts he never got? Was he dreaming of a perfect celebration? These thoughts must have shown on Will’s face because the next moment Beverly snapped her fingers in front of his face.   
“You ok?”   
“No, I just realized that this is his first Valentine’s day in years and I have to make up for it,” said Will with a nervous lopsided smile. Beverly lightly pushed Brian which lead to a muffled “ouch”.   
“Why? It is for you too and you said yourself that you would be happy even if he got you a pair of socks and a bottle of shampoo,” Beverly, bless her soul, tried her best to reason with him.   
“Yes but he isn’t me! He wants something out of fucking Love Actually! He expects it.”  
“Does he? No, seriously,” asked Jimmy, raising his eyebrow.   
“Also, Love Actually is a Christm-” Jimmy was interrupted by another convenient kick from Bev.  
Will didn’t know. Does he? He surely wants it, but does he expect it? Despite everything Frederick was a smart man and he understood that it wasn’t natural for Will. That he, too, spent most of his February 14th’s as he would any other day. He wasn’t a sixteen year old junior prom queen waiting for her date to serenade under her bedroom window. Will had to be rational and just do his best and Frederick would understand. And he had to talk to Margot.

“Uh, thanks guys. I think I’ll go now,” Will looked at his watch and stood up abruptly. He didn’t get anything to eat, so he didn’t have to pay. And it would be dinner time by the time he gets to Wolf Trap anyway. He quickly said his goodbyes to everyone and ran to his car.

Will couldn’t stop thinking about his upcoming doomsday all the way home. He knew that it was a minor holiday and most people bought their significant others flowers and chocolates. But he also wanted to show Frederick how much he cared.

As soon as he opened the door he was met with a pleasant smell of cooking. Frederick was surprisingly good at it. Not in the way you-know-who was, for sure, but that was for the better. It was nothing like his state of the art gourmet dishes, but Frederick's cooking made Will feel at home, feel safe.

Another thing Will was met with was a furry barking wave of dogs (and a sweet three-legged brown tabby cat named Persephone, adopted by Frederick not so long ago). The noise alerted Frederick.  
“Will? Is that you?” he shouted from the kitchen.  
“Yeah,” shouted Will quickly walking to the kitchen.  
“Damn, you scared me,” he said with a smile, “How was your day?”  
“Sorry I forgot to call,” Will chuckled, “Nothing special, really. How was your day?” He took off his jacket and almost threw it on a chair but was met with a stern look from Frederick. He gave him a guilty smile and ran to the front door to hang it on the hook.  
“See? Easy! Jesus, sometimes it feels like you were raised in a barn,” he said with a tease in his voice. ‘Nothing special for me either, had a mild headache in the morning, decided to sleep it off, it worked, I walked with the dogs, then wrote for a bit and now I am here, making dinner.”  
He talked while Will changed from his work outfit into something more comfortable. When he was done he quietly walked up to Frederick from the back.  
“What’s for dinner?” he asked looking over Frederick’s shoulder.  
“God! Stop scaring me! You always do this, you- Ratatouille,” he lightly pushed Will into his shoulder, “I’m determined to make that damn rat proud.”  
“W-what rat?” Did he mean Hann-  
“From the movie, duh.” That makes more sense.  
“Oh. Right. I don't think I've seen it.”  
“That is a federal crime, William. I hope it's on Netflix.”  
“Lock me up, officer,” Will jokingly raised his hands, “Do you need any help?”  
“Lucky for you it is already in the oven and will be done in twelve minutes. You can set up the table.”  
“Okay,” he grabbed Frederick’s arms with his hands, still ice cold from the outside. Frederick gasped in shock and smacked Will with a spatula.  
“You- the table is waiting!”  
Will jokingly saluted him in affirmation and went to fetch the cutlery.

Before this Will’s house couldn’t really be called a home. It was more of a place for the dogs. Will just slept and kept his belongings there. Frederick’s previous house wasn’t a home either. It was large, almost sterile and very empty. It was a picture house, a project, something out of a magazine, clean and polished, but not a place where people actually lived. Things changed when he moved to Wolf Trap. The place started actually looking lived in, not abandoned. With Will’s consent, they rearranged some furniture, replaced some of it, fixed the broken piano that now was actually being used (Frederick was surprised to find out that he still remembered some of his childhood lessons). Will finally stopped sleeping on the sad cot downstairs. There actually was a dining table now. With a tablecloth and everything. It didn’t feel so lonely anymore. Neither did Will.  
He smoothed the wrinkled tablecloth with his palm, set the table for two and filled their glasses with water. Frederick emerged from the kitchen, holding the steaming ceramic baking dish.

Will realized that he was starving since the last time he ate was a sad vending machine sandwich at the FBI academy almost eight hours ago. He picked a forkful of vegetables and gently blew on it. He noticed Frederick patiently looking at him, waiting for his verdict. That made Will smile a little. He put the cooled food into his mouth.  
"Frederick, this is so good," before he wouldn't dare to speak with his mouth full, since that would be rude, but when there was only the two of them he knew that Frederick didn't care. Besides, the ratatouille was actually really good.  
"Thank God. I hope Remy is proud of me," only then he started eating himself.  
"And Remy is?"  
"The rat." Frederick said it with such seriousness that they couldn’t not start laughing.

After finishing dinner and doing the dishes Frederick insisted on educating Will on the masterpieces of modern animation. While they were watching the movie, Will decides that, you know, communication is key and shit.  
"Are you planning something on Valentine's day?" Shit shit shit. Did he fuck up? Fuck shit fuck God wh-  
Frederick looked surprised that Will just asked that out of the blue. "Wh- did you think I'd tell you like that? Are you?"  
"No- I mean, yes, uh, I-I don't know yet and I thought it wouldn't be great if we both did and our plans clashed. You know, communication is key and shit."  
"Oh. That is actually quite clever," Frederick thought about it for a moment. "What do you say if we separate the night? Like, I get the first half and you get the second. When do your classes end?"  
Holy shit it worked. "Uh, somewhere around four?"  
"Great! Then I plan from... let's say six until nine? And you get the rest of the night."  
"Sounds good to me." Does he still have to talk to Margot? ...Yeah.

“Alana, it’s me, Will Graham,” he called her as soon as he was in the car on his way to Quantico. Their relationship was strained and this was probably the first time he called her in a long, long time. They didn’t hate each other, but there was a certain awkwardness. But it had to be done some day, since their partners were close friends now.  
“I know, I haven’t deleted your number,” she chuckled. Hearing her voice reminded Will of the past, but he knew that it wasn’t her fault and she most likely felt the same. Now he just had to explain this ridiculous situation to her somehow.  
“H- yeah, um, good. Uh, I was wondering if you could give me Margot’s number? Or we could meet somewhere if you two want?” God this felt like torture. Hi, remember me? We used to be good mates, even kissed once and then we uh, kinda fell out and now I’m calling you to ask for your wife’s number to ask her about a Valentine’s day gift for my boyfriend.  
“Are you planning a double date or?” Alana sounded perplexed and Will couldn’t blame her.  
“No, no, Frederick can’t know about this,” he lowered his voice as if he could hear him somehow.  
“Oh,” she knew. “Yeah, sure. You can come over to our place tonight after work if it’s ok?”  
“Yes! Yes, um, that would be perfect.” He wished she would’ve just given him Margot’s number but alas.

After work he called Frederick to tell him that he is going to be home late.  
“It’s nothing, really. Just saying so that you won’t worry.”  
“Okay, okay,” teased Frederick. Then his voice turned sincere. “Thank you for calling though. I hope you will be home by dinner but if not I’ll leave you some.”  
“I’ll try to be quick. Thank you.” Will smiled. He felt the need to say the L word at the end here but in a year of them being together neither of them had said it yet and this was not the time. As a matter of fact, Will hadn’t said to anyone it in decades now or even wanted to say it. Until now.

As he drove up to the Verger manor he felt an anxious knot in his stomach. He parked his car in the driveway and started walking up the stairs when he saw Alana’s figure wrapped in a winter coat.  
“Wouldn’t want you to get lost,” she smiled. She hadn’t changed much appearance wise but he felt like there was a different air about her.  
“Thank you,” he nodded and ran up the stairs.

Margot was waiting for them inside dressed in expensive silky loungewear.  
“Will! Haven’t seen you in a while.” She smiled and extended her hand. He shook it nodding awkwardly as he remembered that they indeed had sex. Her being a lesbian and married to his ex-crush made the matters even worse.  
“Well, let’s go to the living room and you will tell us what’s the urgent matter,” said Alana feeling how uncomfortable the whole meeting was. She probably regretted not just giving him Margot’s number.

Their living room was huge. The golden chandeliers, velvet sofas and chairs, persian rugs – the place looked like a museum and Will felt very out of his comfort zone. The women seemed very much in their element. As they would, considering they’ve been living here for so long now.  
“So, what’s the matter? Do you need marriage counseling?” Alana was definitely more blunt now.  
“What? No, we’re- we’re not even marri-” Will was stumbling on words.  
“She’s kidding,” Margot put her hand on Alana’s and gave her a look that probably meant “too much”. He knew because him and Frederick had a similar one for each other. “Is it about Valentine’s day? Frederick told me you asked him about his plans for the evening.” Will nodded. “That was... smart. Do you need help with planning?”  
“No, I think I have an idea for that, thanks. I might use some help with the gift though.”  
“Whatever you say.” Margot shrugged. “Will, let me be honest. He will be happy with anything you get him.”  
Will felt that she was going to say that the moment she opened her mouth. He rolled his eyes because that wasn’t any help since to get anything he needed at least an idea.  
“Yes, everyone is saying that and believe it or not I know! But I still want it to be a good gift that he would genuinely like and not like a tie and cufflinks set.”  
“To be fair that doesn’t sound too bad,” Margot tilted your head and looked at Will from head to toe. “Although from you¸no. Sorry, dear.”  
“No, that’s what I mean. I don’t know shit about those things and I’d just get something ugly. And it just seems like an easy way out.”  
“Yeah, maybe.” She stood up and put her hands on her hips. Alana, who stayed quiet and seemingly out of it until now looked at her. “You can make something yourself,” Margot said after a minute of thinking.  
“What?”  
“You are quite a hands-on type of guy, aren’t you? Make something. Pottery or wood, I don’t know. He’ll appreciate the effort.”  
Will was unsure at first, but Margot sounded very convincing. “That’s... not a bad idea. Thanks, Margot. And you too, Alana, for having me.”  
“You’re welcome,” Alana gave him a smile and a nod.  
“No problem, Will. I’m sure you’ll do great.”  
Will nodded, slapped his knees and stood up. “I guess I’ll go? I promised to be back by dinner time.”  
“Are you sure you’re not married?” Alana asked with a smirk. Will felt his face heat up and realized how married he sounded. He decided not to dwell on that, although he noted that the realization felt somewhat pleasant. Sweet, even.

On the way home Will’s mind was filled with what he could possibly do. He was rather good at woodworking but it’s not that he could do much without causing too much noise. And a spoon wouldn’t cut it since he made like a dozen of them without any reason already. He thought of pottery, but finding a studio and actually going there would be too time consuming. Then, he finally found it. He was going to knit something. A simple scarf cannot be that hard, can it?

Deciding to not lose any time Will stopped by a nearest Michaels. The store always felt intimidating but now, being bombarded with pink and red and hearts from every possible direction, it felt like a torture maze.  
As soon as he found the knitting department Will felt the dread of choosing a color. Dark blue felt like a safe bet, but it was more what he would want for himself, not what Frederick would want. He tried to remember his wardrobe and realized that that wouldn’t work. Then he tried to remember if he mentioned his favorite color. Nothing. Maybe he just had to pick a pretty color. He looked around and his eyes stopped on a beautiful rich burgundy. Deep and warm, slightly speckled, hundred percent wool, red wine in threads. Will smiled. He would like it.

“Don’t scream it’s me!” Will shouted from the front door while brushing snow off of his jacket.  
“I wasn’t going to, but sure,” said Frederick emerging from the hallway. “You’re right on time for dinner,” he said as he quickly kissed Will on the cheek. “Holy shit you’re as cold as ice.”  
“Yeah it is winter out there believe it or not,” said Will with a smile. He admitted to himself that he felt colder before the kiss. “Snowing like hell.”

Will had a good game plan, as he thought. He wanted to sneak out to their office at night and try to knit a little while Frederick slept. And then he’d try to knit in class or during breaks. Doesn’t sound too bad.  
So when they went to bed, he tried his best to stay awake for at least an hour. At one past midnight Will decided that he was relatively safe and snapped his fingers next to Frederick’s ear. No reaction. Will sighed and got up as quietly as it is humanly possible. He crawled out of the door and then it was child’s play after that. He went to the office, locked the door, took the yarn and needles from his briefcase and frantically turned on the table lamp. He felt like a teenager looking at porn who could be caught any minute by his parents even though he wasn’t doing anything criminal. He calmed himself for a minute, turned on the computer and searched for the same “scarf knitting tutorial for beginners” he looked up in the store.

Frederick awoke in the middle of the night with a strange cold feeling. That was when he realized that Will was not beside him. He knew that there had to be a logical explanation to that, maybe he just went to the bathroom, who knows, but his side was cold and Frederick felt a knot in his stomach. He stood up, still half asleep, and walked out to the hallway. He saw a light coming from under the office door and eased up a little. He gently knocked on the door.

“Are you jacking off in there or something?” Fuck fuck fuck he woke up. Will frantically shoved everything in the bag and ran to the door.  
“NO! I mean yes, uh, no, what. No I’m not, but you can’t go in.”  
“A-alright then. Keep your secrets.” Frederick almost turned around but lingered for a moment. “I was just worried a little. Glad you’re here and not in Minnesota.”  
Will realized how this probably looked for Frederick. He probably thought he was sleepwalking again. And all of this because he was knitting a terrible scarf in the middle of the night. He opened the door.  
“Don’t look there. I’m sorry I scared you, I didn’t want to tell you but it’s for Friday. You know, the 14th.”  
“Oh. Oh. God, Will.” Frederick chuckled a little. “I’ll go to bed then. Don’t want to ruin your surprise.”  
“I’ll go with you, I was going to anyway. I can’t stay up that late.”  
“Yeah, you’ve got classes at eleven, remember?”  
“Oh Christ.” Will groaned at which Frederick laughed again. “Also, uh, don’t go in there in the morning. You said you don’t want to spoil the surprise and I have that shit all over the room.”  
“Jesus, what have you been doing in there?”  
“You’ll see. And now let’s try to get some sleep until the alarm goes off.”

In the morning Will noticed Frederick was up before him. He mentally crossed his fingers in hopes his curiosity wasn’t that strong.  
He came down the stairs to a strong smell of fresh coffee. Frederick was sitting at the dining table with two bowls of overnight oatmeal and two mugs of coffee in front of him. “I promise I didn’t look,” said Frederick not looking up from his phone.  
“Good,” Will nodded and sat beside him.

Will tried his best to discreetly knit in class while reading the lecture but soon figured he was unable to focus on both things at the same time well enough. Though he got the hang of it by the end of the lecture and managed to juggle the two quite decently.  
“You picked up a new hobby, Mr Graham?” a student came up to him after class, startling him a little.  
“I- yes, uhm, kind of. It’s... relaxing.”  
“Good for you! Is it a scarf?”  
“Uh, yes. I’m glad it at least looks like it.” Will was a little annoyed they were distracting him from his task, but tried to remain friendly.  
“Is it your first time?”   
“Yes. Does it show?”  
“No, not at all, actually. It looks really good for a first time!”  
“Oh, thank you,” he gave them an awkward lopsided smile and quickly averted his eyes.  
“Sorry for bothering, I know you’re not the social type,” they awkwardly laughed. Will shook his head and almost started protesting but was interrupted. “One last question, is it for someone?”  
“Uh, yes, this is for my, uh... partner. How did you-”  
“Oh I just saw you were trying really hard and were so focused so I kind of figured, you know. You really care about them, don’t you? God, I’m being too invasive again, sorry.”  
“Well, yeah, I guess I do,” read for filth by own student.  
“Lucky them,” they laughed. “I guess I won’t torment you any more with forced socialization and go. Was nice talking to you, Mr Graham.”  
“You too,” he nodded, painfully realizing he didn’t remember their name.  
“Alex,” right.  
“Alex, sorry. Have a good day.”  
“You too, Mr Graham.”  
He sat in the empty classroom for some time after, knitting and thinking of this conversation.

At some point he finally snapped out of his knitting trance and went to check on the gang and tell them about his new genius idea.  
“Knock knock,” he stuck his head in the doorway at their department.  
Beverly looked up from her phone and her face lit up. “Hey!”  
“Look who’s here!” Jimmy waved at him.  
“Yo!” Brian smiled and gave him finger guns.  
Beverly ran over to him and hugged him. “How’s your plan going?”  
“Well, I’m knitting a scarf so, decide for yourself, I’m either a genius or desperate.” There was a silence. Jimmy just gave him a thumbs up with eyebrows raised up to his hairline.  
“Well, good luck to you,” Brian patted him on the back and laughed. “I mean, jokes aside, that... isn’t a bad idea.”  
“I know! That’s from Margot.” Brian nodded with a face of amused approval.  
“Do you have it with you?” asked Beverly.  
“Yeah, you want to look?” She nodded. Will pulled the unfinished third of a burdundy red scarf from his messenger. “Careful, it might come undone.”  
“It... looks really neat. Is it your first time?” Beverly carefully ran her fingers along the threads. Will nodded. “That’s impressive.”  
“Yeah man, it looks really good,” said Brian with the face of someone who has no idea about knitting.  
“Well alrighty Aphrodite, it looks great! I love your color choice,” Jimmy chimed in. Will looked bashful.  
“What’s the meeting about?” all four turned their heads up and looked at the door to see Jack Crawford coming at them. “Knitting?”  
“Yeah, it’s mine,” Will gave him the same shy smile he gave his student before.  
“Is this for Dr Chilton?” Will felt his face grow red, like if he was ten and his father was asking him for who the valentine he was discreetly making was meant. He nodded. “God, the whole thing with the two of you still feels weird.”  
“I keep telling you he’s not that bad,” God this is awful. This is worse than when he brought his prom date to dinner with his parents.  
“And I trust you! You wouldn’t be making this state of the art textile work for a douchebag.”  
“It’s not state of the art, it’s just a s-”  
“Whatever, my point is: you care about him and it shows. And you don’t care about just anyone.” He had to give it to Jack for being right.  
“I guess I do.” He felt his phone vibrate. “Speak of the devil. Hi, Frederick. Wh-what time is it? Oh, shit, yeah, I’m here with everyone. Yeah, I was going already. Yeah. Do you need me to get you anything? You sure? Alright. Yeah, I’ll be home soon.” He hang up and found everyone looking at him. “What?”  
“Are you like, married already?” Jimmy was blunt.  
“I hate all of you,” Will pointed at them while walking out. All of them started giggling, including Jack.  
“Love you too buddy!” shouted Beverly laughing.

The next day was rather uneventful: Frederick was making calls trying to book a nice enough restaurant, Will was trying to juggle work and knitting. There was just this day and the day after it to finish and it seems like he might have overestimated his abilities. Maybe he’d have to present Frederick a half of a scarf and a promise to finish it.  
“God, I imagined it would be a pain in the ass to try to book a table for Valentine’s day, but never to this extent!” Frederick fell onto the couch, startling sleeping Winston. “I have called a dozen restaraunts today and I have only just managed to snatch a place. And it is not even that good.”  
“What a shame,” Will replied from the ratty old recliner Frederick threatened to throw out hundreds of times now. He didn’t care much for expensive restaraunts. Wouldn’t notice the difference between Olive Garden and Dorsia.  
“I know you don’t really care for fine dining but,” he was interrupted by Charlie who decided to rest in his lap. “But. I’ve been dreaming of something nice for years. Sounds tragic, I know, I could’ve gone by myself but in a way that would be even more sad. So let me have this.”  
“No, no, I get it, of course. I’ll even get dressed all fancy and brush my hair for once.”  
“Goodness me, I am getting special treatment?” Frederick made a theatrical shocked face.  
“The lengths I’m willing to go for you, huh,” said Will closing his eyes and leaning backwards in the chair. “How’s your book going?”  
Frederick was startled by a sudden change of theme. “Well, thank you for asking. I’ve pitched an idea to a publisher and they seemed interested. I hope they are.”  
“I remember reading your books a long long time ago and thinking: wow, this guy is a really shitty psychiatrist,” Will chuckled. “But if there is something he's good at then it's writing. You managed to make complete bullshit interesting with your vivid descriptions and your witty albeit unprofessional remarks. Maybe that’s why they managed to be best sellers even if they were all made up. You’re good at making things up.”  
“Half made up, please. I could've been offended by the shitty psychiatrist part, but I honestly admire you for your frankness. And thank you, for your encouragement.” He smiled sincerely. Will looked bashful, avoiding eye contact and instead focusing on petting Daisy, who fell asleep on him.  
“I've always felt you were more excited about the writing than the science,” he said, not lifting his eyes. Frederick laughed and tilted his head in vague agreement.

After dinner, Will yet again locked himself in the study to feverishly knit the godforsaken scarf. He put on a pair of headphones and turned on some music – some vague relaxing instrumentals, just to drown out the outer world. He sat like that for hours before getting startled by knocking on the door. He threw a quick glance on the clock – eleven thirty. God, how long was he there for? He reluctantly stood up from the chair and felt all of his joints crack at once. He made a mental note to thank Frederick for insisting on a nicer chair because had they gotten something that Will himself was voting for he would’ve been in much more pain than he already was.  
“Are you going to bed?” asked Frederick from the other side of the door.  
“Yeah, a bit later though,” said Will as he cracked the door open a little.  
Frederick tugged him down on his shirt for a quick forehead kiss. “Don’t stay up too late, you’ve got work tomorrow, remember?” Will groaned and scrunched his nose up. “Come on, get to whatever you’re doing then and I’m waiting for you in no more than thirty minutes.”  
“Alright, captain,” said Will closing door as Frederick already walked down the hallway to the bedroom. He made sure to put an alarm.

The doomsday’s eve was filled with weird tension that comes with holidays. You could tell that Frederick was a bit on edge with the preparations and such – he always was, whenever it came to preparations. He once again checked their reservation, both cars’ gas levels and some other things Will didn’t catch.  
The only thing Will could think of was the fucking scarf. Should’ve been making a wooden spoon. He was sure he was on the brink of capral tunnel syndrome. He was not nearly done yet, which was annoying and also meant he now had to present Frederick with half a scarf, an apology and a promise to finish it.

When Will came from work he found Frederick still buzzing around the house talking on the phone with dogs following him from room to room. “Hey, what’s the fuss about?” Will came up to him when he finally finished the phone call.  
“Oh, it’s just Margot. How was your day?” Frederick said as he carefully fixed Will’s collar.  
“Boring, really. A third of the class skipped and I’m sure it’ll be worse tomorrow. Jack said hi. What are Margot and Alana planning?”  
“Horseback riding,” he said with a mix of impression and disgust which made Will chuckle. “And a dinner at a much better place than ours. I’m not complaining, by the way, I don’t think I’ll be able to look at those tiny fancy arrangements ever again.” Will was pretty sure it was both. But he didn’t argue, since he was not enthused by fancy food either.

During the evening Frederick randomly stood up and went to the wardrobe (which Will didn’t have before) at least three times. Will remembered he had to choose what to wear too because if he didn’t do it now he wouldn’t ever. And if he tried to do that right before they had to go they would be late and he didn’t want that.  
“What do you think I should wear?” he asked as Frederick came back from his third wardrobe raid.  
“Oh God, are you just thinking about it? No, I mean, yeah, you don’t have much to choose from,” he said sitting down on the couch next to Will. Which meant he had serious intentions. “Please don’t wear your teacher jacket. I love how you look in it, but you’ve been wearing it nearly every single day for years now. Do you want me to boss you around?” Will made a vague “go on” gesture. “Alright then. No plaid - and I know how much you love your lumberjack chic and it does look great on you, but, well, too casual. You probably didn’t even want to wear plaid but just to make sure.” He did, a little. “Ok, these are all of my instructions. Now go to the closet and try something out. I trust you.”  
Will was touched that he trusted him but also wished he bossed him around a bit more. Dressing up for the work Winter Holiday party was much easier, just throw on the same wacky sweater he wore for three years in a row and that would be enough. He still dutifully went to the closet. He quickly glanced over the “nicer” clothes he had, of which there thankfully wasn’t many.  
“Ok, I made a decision,” he said walking into the living room a few minutes later still in the same clothes as before.  
“What, is this it?” Frederick vaguely gestured at Will’s current outfit.  
“Thou shall not see the bride until wedding.”

They both felt the first kick of anxiety right after the morning alarm.  
“Happy Valentine’s day,” mumbled Frederick, still lying face down.  
“Oh God. Happy Valentine’s day to you too, dear.” Will rubbed his eyes and tried to find his phone on the nightstand to turn off the godforsaken alarm. The blackout blinds were nice but trying to find anything in pitch darkness was a pain in the ass. “Wow, we actually got up on the first one.”  
Frederick gave him a thumbs up without saying anything. “Speak for yourself because I think I’m still asleep.”  
“Alright then,” Will laughed. “You can sleep, I’ll go try to make breakfast.” He didn’t reply, which probably meant he has already drifted off.

“Try” was the key word. Technically, he could cook but it was more often a miss than a hit. But there was one thing he was good at – banana pancakes. Hard to go wrong with these ones when you get the hang of it.  
Will fed the dogs, turned on the kettle for coffee and started mixing the batter. The house felt different this early. It was quiet and with only him and the dogs awake it was almost like when he lived alone. Almost. The air was different, the quiet wasn’t anxious. It was calming.  
After some time he heard the shower turn on. The food was ready and he didn’t even burn anything. He hoped this was a good sign. He leaned onto the counter and pulled out his phone. Some minutes later Frederick came to the kitchen, wearing a shirt which Will was sure was once his, his hair was still damp.  
“Did you make pancakes?” He came up to Will and quickly kissed him. He smelled faintly of shampoo and warm sandalwood, which was probably the new perfume he talked about not so long ago.   
“No, it was Winston,” said Will and pointed at the unassuming dog next to Frederick. He rolled his eyes and sat down at the island. Will filled two mugs with coffee and sat next to him.

“Hey!” Will was walking alone down an empty hallway as he jumped and turned around to see Beverly headed at him. “Happy Valentine’s day!” she handed him a Herschey’s kiss scooped from her jacket pocked which seemingly contained some more of those.  
“Thanks, you too, Beverly,” he said as he fumbled with the wrapper. “I, uh, don’t have any candy to share, sorry.”  
“I don’t really like candy anyway, I got these just to give out. How’s your grand plan going?”  
“Good, I think,” he smiled. “You got any plans yourself?”  
“...I might have asked a certain redhead out and she might have agreed,” Beverly shrugged and grinned.  
“Freddie Lounds?” Will almost choked on the chocolate. He knew Bev and her hung out once or twice, maybe more, but this still felt unbelievable. He realized that’s probably what she and the others felt like when he told them about Frederick.  
“Yes, and don’t shout like that,” she shushed at him and laughed. “God, you should see your face. And you’re not the one to speak!”  
“Alright, alright,” Will chuckled. “Good luck anyway. I’ve got classes to teach, so this is where we part ways.”  
“Good luck to you too!” she saluted him as they separated in the hallway.

Classes were more relaxed than usual as a half of the people attending were too preoccupied thinking about their evening, including the teacher. The lecture ended even earlier than planned.

Will wanted to stop by Jimmy and Brian, but they’ve already left. Knowing them, they’ve probably went to a bar or one of their places together. Nobody knew if they were actually together or if it was a bachelor best friends thing. And Will was convinced they weren’t sure themselves either since this was happening for at least four years now and at this point it was too awkward to ask.

Then he went to Jack’s office and only found a note saying “TOOK A LEAVE. WITH MY WIFE. ONLY CALL IF URGENT”. He smiled and now having no one else to check on headed to the car. He still had unfinished business and coming home a bit earlier wouldn’t hurt.

As he rode back home his phone rang. It was Abigail. Will’s face lit up and he put her on speaker. “Hey kid!” even though she as a legal adult now.  
“Hi! Happy Valentine’s Day! How are you?” Her voice was the same, except maybe a bit calmer now.  
“Thank you, you too. I’m good, on my way home from work. How’s college?”  
“Good! Everyone’s still groggy from winter break so it’s pretty chill.” She went abroad, somewhere people wouldn’t really know her for what happened to her. He hoped she was feeling fine.  
“Did you find any friends?”  
“God, I’ve told you a million times already: yes,” he could practically hear her fondly rolling her eyes and smiled.  
“Sorry, I’m just making sure. What are your plans for tonight?”  
“Going to a party with said friends,” she sounded excited. “It was supposed to be just for lonely people but then everyone wanted to come so now it’s just a party.”  
Will chuckled. He was happy that she was happy. “Ok, have fun and stay safe,” God, he sounded like a dad. “Love you, kid.” Even worse.  
“I am an adult,” rolling her eyes again. “Love you too.” He almost hung up as she spoke again. “Wait! What are you planning on doing? Are you still with the shrink?”  
“Yes, but he’s not a shrink anymore,” Will chuckled. He guessed awkward conversations were inevitable. “A dinner and then I’m taking him to a nice place in the woods.”  
“Jesus, in the woods? Are you what, planning a murder?” she laughed.  
“No, I’ve planned it all out, I’m going to make a fire, there will be stars and all that. Trying to be romantic.”  
“Wow, this is serious, huh.” Will felt his face burning.  
“I-I guess,” it must be serious when you stay up until way past midnight, like, three or four nights in a row knitting a scarf.  
“Alright, you sound like you’re in pain so I’ll stop torturing you. It was nice talking to you.”  
“Yes, yes it was nice talking to you too, Abigail. We should call each other more often.”  
“Or text, you know, like normal people do,” she chuckled. They were both far from normal people but it was true. He made a mental note to talk to her more. He cared about her and felt like she needed to feel that more.  
“Yeah. You can text me whenever, just don’t call when I’m in class. Which is usually from 10 AM to 6 PM Eastern standard time. Other than that you’re always welcome.”  
“Noted! Same for you. Love you. Oh, and say hi to the dogs and Dr Chilton!”  
“Will do. Love you too.” She hung up after a moment. Will felt warm.

Just minutes later he saw the sign he was looking for – the little stylish-looking flower shop. The kind that made artistic bouquets with nice paper and occasional odd plant choices. He could’ve sworn he had seen artichokes in some of them. The goth girl behind the counter gave him a bored look as he walked in. He looked unbelievably out of place there but hey, where else he was supposed to find an actually good looking bouquet in their small town. He perused whatever bouquets they had left and sadly realized that the best ones were expectedly already gone.  
“Do you need help?” the goth girl asked him from across the store.  
Will thought for a minute. “Yeah, I think so.” She sighed and walked up to him. She had green hair and a bunch of pins and badges on her uniform vest: some really pretty nature-themed ones (he thought maybe he should get Abigail something similar), a flag that he was pretty sure was lesbian, and a name badge saying “Helene”. He smiled, thinking she reminded him of the girls Abigail told him about. She would’ve liked her.  
“So, I’m guessing this is for your partner?” She looked as displeased having to talk to him as did he and they both felt it and somehow that made them both feel better.  
“Yes, yes it is.”  
“Do you have anything specific in mind? Colors, certain flowers, meanings?” He remembered trying to research flower meanings and getting lost in the first five websites.  
“Um, something nice? He has much better taste than I do, so yeah,” he gestured vaguely. “Just something that looks beautiful and doesn’t mean something like “I hate you and I think you’re dumb”.”  
Helene chuckled and nodded. “I’ll be right back. If you want tea it’s over there,” she pointed at the counter with an electric kettle and boxes of different teas and went to the back room.  
Will hesitated for a moment but then went to make himself a cup. The tea selection was nice. Helene returned right after he was done making it with a tablet.   
“Alright, here’s our, erm, portfolio,” she turned the tablet to him showing him an array of different floral arrangements. “I can replicate anything you like. Or, if you really don’t know what he’d like, I can try to help you choose.”  
“Please do,” Will must’ve looked really desperate judging by her smile.  
“Sure.” She turned the tablet back to herself and scrolled down a bit, “...Does he like literature? Like, Oscar Wilde and such?”  
“Do you think just because he’s gay- yes, yes he does, actually. And he’s a writer, too.”  
“Is he really? That’s cool.” Hm. Would Frederick enjoy being called cool by a goth teenager? Mental note to tell him later. “What does he write?”  
“Um, of what has been published mostly psychology non-fiction but he’s currently working on a novel.”  
“Sounds cool,” Helene replied somewhat absentmindedly. She turned the tablet back to Will. “What do you think of this one? Rather dark, but still looks great.” She showed him a mostly dark cool toned bouquet of deep red roses, lavender, lots of greens and other flowers Will failed to recognize. It was beautiful, but not perfect. Helene saw his hesitation. “Not one for you, I see. I’ll show you more. Or we could tweak this one, if you want.”  
“O-oh, yeah, I think I might have gotten an idea now.”  
“Great! So, what is it?” She looked relieved that she didn’t have to scroll through more. Will described what he had in mind as best as he could and after a couple more minutes Helene emerged from the back room with a freshly cut neat bouquet in dark reds, purples and greens with dashes of crisp white.  
“Looks great.” Will nodded and Helene started carefully wrapping the flowers in craft paper.

He hid them in the trunk, hoping to get a moment to hand it over to the waiter without being noticed.

Will jovially jumped up the stairs, gently knocked on the door and walked in. He was met by startled Frederick, who was in the middle of trying to tie a tie.  
“Hi, dear,” Frederick smiled, walked up to Will and gently kissed him on the cheek.  
“You look like you’re planning on seducing a middle aged single mother,” he said as he glanced as his outfit: a nice warm brown houndstooth tweed jacket, solid dark brown pants, plain shirt and a subtly patterned dark red tie. He did think he looked good but still had the urge to poke fun a little.  
“I can change if you w-”  
“No no no, you look great!” Will started protesting. “I am not far from a middle aged mother, you know.”  
“You do have a crush on Hugh Grant,” Frederick nodded in agreement and chuckled. Will gently hit him on the arm. “Go get dressed, idiot.”  
He laughed and rushed to the wardrobe.

Will remembered the outfit he had in mind and hoped it would actually look good: black turtleneck, gray tweed jacket and pleated light brown pants. Doesn’t sound bad. He got dressed, looked at himself in the mirror and made some pathetic attempts at keeping his hair in place.  
He carefully climbed down the stairs to see Frederick right there, waiting for him.  
“And who’s seducing a middle aged mom now. You look great,” he smiled.  
“Thanks,” Will felt flustered and a little bit like a high school student before his prom date. “Let’s go then?”

The place was nice, but not over the top. And full to the brim with people, couples and families. Their table was snugly tucked into the corner, where music was quiet and people’s conversations drowned out. They sat there for what seemed like hours before they were approached by a waiter with flowers in their hands.  
“God, I did not think it would be this awkward,” Frederick buried his burning face in his hands, laughing as the waiter was putting the bouquet in the vase. Will saw another waiter coming right at them – this time with his bouquet.  
“Oh right now it’s going to get even worse,” he chuckled awkwardly taking a big sip of wine.  
“Why-” Frederick turned around to see what Will was looking at and turned directly at the waiter. He turned right back at Will, his expression being somewhat close to soft surprise. “Oh, Will... how did you know these were my favorites?”  
“I didn’t, just picked the prettiest,” Will suddenly felt terribly seen and tried to look somewhere not embarrassing. And try to think of something not embarrassing. “Also I told the goth girl who worked at the store that you were a writer and she said that was cool.”  
“Oh thank God at least the kids think I’m cool now,” he laughed. “Wait, I haven’t even published anything yet. Did she read my psychology books?”  
“No, I think she just finds the concept of being a writer cool,” Will replied while carefully poking his food with a fork. “Or maybe she did. Goths like true crime, right? I just haven’t mentioned your name.”  
“Oh. Makes sense, I guess,” he shrugged and took a sip from his glass. He took another glance at the carefully arranged flowers. “God, these are beautiful. Thank you, dear.”  
Will was grateful that he didn’t blush easily or he would’ve been beet red already. He just chuckled and awkwardly tilted his head. “Thank you too. Yours looks really good. Did you pick it yourself?”  
“Yes- I, um, actually sent the florist a sketch.” Frederick’s face was a mix of bashfulness and pride.  
“A sketch?”  
“Well it wasn’t great so I had to annotate it.”  
“Ok, at least you can’t draw. I was afraid you were just good at everything.” Can’t really trust people who seem perfect, you know.  
Frederick almost choked on his wine, “God, I wish! I can’t even parallel park.  
“Oh, right. Fair enough.” Will saluted him with his wine glass. With two huge bouquets in the middle it was hard for them to see each other, but there was something in seeing just someone’s eyes peeking from behind roses and leaves.

Suddenly Frederick’s eyes opened wide.  
“Presents,” he said as he dunked under the table to retrieve a small gift bag. “Oh, God. This is... um, just tell me if you hate it, I’ll return everything-”  
“Oh come on, just give it to me,” Will chuckled and extended his hand. Frederick reluctantly gave him the bag in which he found a small red velvet box similar to those used for jewellery. At first he was slightly confused over what that could possibly be because he was never a jewellery person and Frederick knew that. But then he opened the box and saw a silver heart-shaped fishing lure with “You caught my heart” engraved on it. Frederick visibly flinched as Will looked at his present and didn’t dare to look at his reaction.  
“It’s so dumb, I-I can buy you a good rod if you wan-” he started his defence for whatever he feared would come but Will interrupted him.  
“Are you kidding? I love it, seriously. It is dumb, but I love it. Thank you.” He smiled and gently pressed his hand. “I am not going to use it, ever, because if I lose it I think I would have to jump after the fish to get it back. Oh, and it’s my turn and you already have the upper hand.” Will grabbed his bag from the chair and retrieved a paper bag that he kept clutched to himself. “Okay. So I hope you don’t get mad or sad, because this is unfinished and I am sincerely very sorry,” he started nervously stumbling over words and Frederick reached out to him.  
“I promise you I will not be mad or sad because first of all, I am a grown adult and second, I don’t have much to compare to,” they both chuckled and Will placed the crumpled up bag in his hands.  
“It’s supposed to be a scarf,” he said as he saw confusion on Frederick’s face. “Please be gentle, I’ve had it accidentally come undone way too many times.”  
But he has been nothing but gentle with the thing, he carefully touched the threads and smiled. “Thank you. I hope you do finish this because I love it.”  
“Now you can hurry me now that you know,” he laughed.

Some time after Frederick glanced at his phone. “Oh, it’s time for your part now. We should get going.”  
“You’re gonna want to change because you will get cold and you won’t want to possibly ruin your nice outfit,” said Will as he called the waiter.  
“Please do not tell me we’re going fishing,” Frederick gasped in horror though he probably wouldn’t be that opposed to it.  
“I’m not that mean,” Will chuckled.

As they were driving in awkward silence Will decided to speak up. “So, we’ve been together for nine months-”  
“Ten months!” Frederick sounded offended.  
“Uh, nine months,” Will said almost not thinking about it.  
“Uh, ten months,” Frederick mocked his tone. "Nine since you awkwardly asked if we were dating."  
“And ten since we first went out together. It wasn’t even a date!” Will saw that Frederick wanted to say something and decided to not give him a chance. This was something to argue about some other time. “Doesn’t matter, the fact is that we’ve almost survived a year.”  
“We sure did survive,” Frederick chuckled bitterly. They both knew they were safe now.  
“Yeah. Well, what I’ve been trying to say that I still don’t know some of basic stuff about you.”  
“What do you mean?” he looked baffled.  
“Well, uh, like kindergarten level things. What’s your favorite color?”  
Frederick laughed. “Uh, red. No, wait, burgundy.”  
“Really? Are you just saying that because of the scarf?”  
“What? No, it’s honestly my favorite. And I am very impressed that you somehow guessed it.” Hell yes. Will barely held the urge to triumphantly punch the air.  
“God, you have a much better answer than I do and I’m the one who asked. Mine’s just blue.”  
“How awfully fitting.”  
“Yeah. Now it’s your turn to ask.”  
“What? Oh, God.” He made a pained expression and Will just smiled and nodded as in to say “go on”. After a couple of seconds of deliberation Frederick came up with a question. “What is your favorite fruit?”  
Will snorted. “Really?”  
“Is it really much worse than favorite color?”  
“Okay, fair. Let me think. You.” Frederick’s mouth snapped open with a gasp. Will had the worst shit-eating grin on his face.  
“I will kill you, William, that was funny but I will strangle you with my bare han-”  
“Okay, sorry! Apple?”  
Frederick almost burst into laughter. “God, those are the most basic choices ever.”  
“Well I am being honest! Apples are tasty! Very, uh, trustworthy.”  
“Trustworthy?” At this point Frederick was wheezing.  
“You know what I mean! They are tasty, sturdy and always there for you and just, like, a safe bet.” Will realized how he sounded halfway through and started laughing too. “Okay, okay, fine, my choices might be basic but what are you going to say?”  
“Pears!”  
“Oh come on. Pears are just long soft apples!”  
“What? Pears are very versatile, great in pies and with soft cheese on toast, great by themselves. And they’re absolutely not just long apples.”  
Will shrugged. They sat in silence for a second before bursting into full laughter. “Long fucking apples.” Frederick repeated, still wheezing.

Will saw a familiar turn and glanced at the GPS. “We’re almost there.”  
“We’re in the middle of nowhere. Are you sure you’re not planning on murdering me?”  
“If I were I wouldn’t tell you, dear. And I’d pick a better location and make up a better plan.” Will’s eyes were fixated on the road as he rode off of the main road into the forest so he was unable to see Frederick’s face journey. He wasn’t sure if he should focus more on the “dear” or “wouldn’t tell you”. So he chose neither.  
“Ok, now close your eyes.”  
“Are you kidding me?”  
“No, close your eyes, I want it to be a surprise.” Will slowed down the car with a look that said that he was determined to wait. Frederick let out a long sigh and closed his eyes. Although he would be lying if he said he didn’t enjoy this whole thing and Will knew it. He drove for a couple minutes more, not too long but long enough for Frederick to start asking if they were there yet. Then he saw the spot – a clearing on the river bank. The river was frozen and covered in snow, but it was still beautiful.  
“Stay here, I’ll lead you out,” said Will as he jumped out of the car.  
Frederick sighed and let out an “oh God” but still kept his eyes dutifully closed. Will walked up to his side, opened the door and took his hand. “Be careful.” Frederick cautiously crawled out of the car, clutching onto Will’s hand for dear life. They did barely a couple of steps when Will said it was ok to open his eyes now.  
“So I really climbed out of there like a blind Lizzie Bennet for noth-” he stopped mid-word as he took a proper look at their surroundings. “Whoa.” Frederick looked up and saw multitudes of stars and the moon – crisp and crystal clear in the jet black sky.  
“Told you you’d like it.” Will looked terribly pleased with himself. “Mind helping me get stuff out of the boot?”  
“Yeah, sure.” Frederick snapped out of the trance and walked over to the car.  
Will pulled out two folding chairs and a bag of groceries, wood and blankets were on Frederick, who squinted at the idea of splinters and quickly put his gloves on. Sure those were nice, expensive gloves, but splinters were much worse than small holes.  
They picked a relatively even spot, set the chairs and Will started making a clearing for their fire. Frederick just sat and watched since he, never really the outdoorsman, couldn’t be of much help anyway. He covered himself with a blanket and watched Will carefully assemble logs and twigs with the preciseness of someone who has done it a million times before.

After long and harrowing five minutes of silence and hot tea Will decided to rip off the bandage. “Um, Frederick?” ok this is happening. Frederick turned his head with a qurious expression and made a small “hm?” sound. Will looked at his face lit up by the fire and took a deep breath. “I love you.” Frederick didn’t get a chance to process the words as he was pulled into a soft kiss by Will. He didn’t resist. Wait. Is this salt? “Are you crying?”  
“Maybe a little, yeah,” Frederick chuckled, quickly wiping his eyes. “Is this real?”  
“Yes,” Will fondly smirked and nodded. “I can pinch you if you want.”  
“NO- God, I love you too. I love you so much.” Frederick shook his head and laughed. “It’s just- no one ever told me that. Except for my mother many years ago, which is different and also sounds pathetic.”  
“No, not pathetic. Sad, sure. But it’s not your fault.”  
“Except it kind of is? I’ve pushed people away for my whole life, keeping them at a professional arm’s length, you know. Not even talking about how big of an asshole I was. Still probably am. And then I dared to ask why nobody liked me.”  
“But I like you. Which, honestly speaking, came as a surprise to me when I realized it,” Will tilted his head and laughed. “But it doesn’t surprise me anymore. I like you for you and even more. And you’re not an asshole. You were back then, though.”  
“I know, I know.” Frederick threw up his hands in defeat. He sat quiet for a moment, looking at the fire. “You have rubbed off on me.”  
“In what way?” Will looked perplexed even though he knew what he meant. Previously he wouldn’t have imagined Dr. Frederick Chilton to be sitting here with him, to have it in him to be a good person, to be someone he could love. And he definitely couldn't have imagined him in anything but a bespoke suit, but there he was, in a brown flannel, a thick wool sweater and a waxed jacket. It was all still very neat and high quality, but now he looked like he was actually comfortable with himself and not like he was doing a constant performance.  
“In a good one, for sure,” he chuckled and saluted Will with his mug. “I actually like nature now.”  
“Oh, this goes both ways actually, I don’t use 5-in-1 wash anymore, so thanks to you,” said Will. Frederick snorted and bowed.

They smiled and sat in silence, staring at the fire, entranced, thinking of things said. Frederick gingerly stretched his hand out to Will. He took it without saying anything. They both felt the weight of the words felt but unsaid before lift from their shoulders.

**Author's Note:**

> yes i was supposed to post this on valentine's day. first time writing so please don't be too mean. all of my /italics/ moments probably turned off but on god i am not checking that


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